Not All Those Who Wander
by Phoenix Bradley
Summary: Takes place after Sanosuke and Megumi have left and Yahiko is living in Sanosuke's old place. A nightmare that causes Kaoru to wake up screaming Kenshin's name makes him realize what he truly wants. A oneshot.


Not All Those Who Wander.

by, Smeagol's girl

(A/N: No, I haven't abandoned my Avatar fic. In fact, I'm working on the next chapter at the moment and decided to write this on the side to clear my head a little. This week's been chaotic to say the least. So, to clear my head, I'm spending some time with my favorite Rurouni who makes me smile no matter what. And, making this a first in a looong while, this is a happy one-shot. And I'll be writing a full-length Kenshin fic soon, so writing a few one-shots will be good practice. Summary: Kaoru and Kenshin are living together now that Sano has gone on the run, Yahiko's moved into Sano's place, and Megumi's returned to Aizu. Kaoru knows it's only a matter of time before Kenshin leaves too. Rated K+. I own nothing. Based off both the manga and the anime.)

Yahiko said his final farewell and left, waving over his shoulder. Kenshin couldn't help but smile in amusement. To anyone who hadn't known the relationship Yahiko shared with he and Kaoru, this would definitely appear that he was leaving for good. But Yahiko, like Sanosuke, would no doubt live in the apartment technically, but still spend most of his time in the dojo, mooching, as Kaoru so fondly worded it. Still, there was a little sadness in watching him leave. He'd grown so much from the little pick-pocket they'd met on the bridge. 'Next time, don't get caught,' he'd said while handing his wallet over to the boy. He could laugh at that now, knowing that was probably not the best advice he'd ever given him. Still, he'd turned out all right.

Kaoru sighed and it called him out of his wonderings when he noticed the depression etched on her face. "Kaoru-dono?" he asked softly. She gazed up at him and forced a very pitiful looking smile. "He'll be back, that he will," he reassured her. "He's still got some training to finish, hasn't he?"

"That's true I suppose," she answered with a nod. "Still... I wish these partings all didn't happen at once." He smiled and nodded in understanding.

"I told you it would be lonely," he said softly. "But it's not goodbye forever, that it isn't. We'll see them all again, I promise." Kaoru smiled at him genuinely this time. She knew as long as he was there, she wouldn't be completely lonely.  
----

She was standing on the edge of the cliff again, staring at Kenshin who stood on the other side, a large distance separating them. "I'm a wanderer," he said, his smile not leaving. Tears were falling down her face. "And it's time for me to wander again."

"Kenshin!" she screamed as he turned and left her there. "Kenshin, no!"

Kenshin stirred from sleep and paused, listening closely. "Kenshin, no!" shouted the voice and he leapt up from the futon. He had heard her first cry but wanted to be sure he'd really heard it and he wasn't dreaming. His own dreams had been dark lately so waking up to screams in his head was not that unlikely. Most of him had a feeling the cries Kaoru was letting out were from nothing more than a nightmare, but he wanted to be sure. He felt like a parent running to chase away a child's night terrors.

When he slid the door open his suspicions were confirmed. Kaoru lay tossing and turning on her futon, and occasionally calling his name as if he were far away. Very gently he knelt down beside her and rubbed her arm till she woke. Her eyes snapped open and when she realized it was him she shot up without thinking and threw her arms around him. "Oro!" he cried in surprise, and felt her tears soaking through his shirt. "Kaoru-dono..." he said softly and wrapped his arms around her to calm her. "It was just a nightmare."

She couldn't find her voice and slowly focused on steadying her breathing. A few moments ago she'd been falling into that chasm... and when she woke up she had practically fallen right into his arms.

"What did you see?" he asked after a moment.

"I saw you..." she answered tearfully and she felt him go stiff. She retold the nightmare of the chasm and how he abandoned her, and how she fell trying to chase after him. When she finished he was very quiet for a minute and she felt herself growing even more calm as she slowly took in the warmth of his embrace. "Kenshin?" she asked softly.

"Hmm?" His chin was rested on her head and she could feel his breathing in her hair.

"Do you... ever have nightmares?" This was a stupid question and she knew it. Of course he did. Everyone did. But he always struck her as so brave and centered that seeing him have a nightmare didn't seem likely at all.

Kenshin closed his eyes, the image of that angel pinned to a wall with a sword sticking out of her chest and a cross shaped cut meant to mock him carved into her face... the angel's glazed and empty eyes staring back at him and him knowing he'd failed to save her...

Kaoru suddenly became aware that his arms were wrapping around her even tighter and he had gone rigid. "Kenshin?" she whispered, knowing something wasn't right. "Kenshin, what's wrong?"

He took in a slow breath and then said, "I saw you"  
----

The sun was rising and Kaoru sat by the window in her robe, the heat from the sun slowly coming over her. All she could think about was the night before. She had never been told before of Yukishiro Enishi's attack on Kenshin's heart while she was being held hostage, and up until then she had never wondered. When Kenshin slowly told her what had happened her heart had almost stopped. He had nearly died over her, and even now there was still some left over damage from what had been done. He'd proven that when he'd clung to her.

Somewhere in the night, after they'd stopped talking and silence had taken over, she felt herself slipping into sleep and drifted off in his arms. She woke alone and now sat by the window, watching the sunrise, absorbing in the serenity of the moment.

She sighed a little and closed her eyes, listening to the birds. She didn't hear the door slide open or Kenshin step in.

Kenshin had rarely had moments in his life that left him breathless, but this was one of them. The sunlight shined off of Kaoru so perfectly that she looked like she was glowing. The angel in front of him made him forget the bloody angel that had haunted his dreams since Enishi's jinchu. She looked absolutely...

"Beautiful..." he said softly and she poked her head up, smiling when she saw the loving look in his eyes. It was rare when he'd shown it. There'd been the time when she'd let it slip that she wanted to stay with him forever, and then the first time he'd looked at her when they were on the island, fighting Enishi, and, perhaps the time that shook her the most, when he'd returned from what was supposed to be a duel with Saito and he'd spotted her sleeping near the door, waiting for him. She loved it when he looked at her like that.

"You're awake," she said softly. "I can make breakfast now I guess." She moved to stand but he stepped in front of her and lowered a hand down to help her up. She took it greatfully and smiled brightly to him. "Thank you," she said softly.

"Of course, Kaoru-dono," he said. She was still holding his hand and for some reason she didn't want to let it go. He realized this and smiled, placing his hand on her lower back. Her heart was pounding and she watched him step closer. She tilted her head up towards him and he lowered his towards her. Their lips were only an inch apart. She could feel his breath on her face and she waited almost impatiently.

He stepped away from her, eyes closed and he lowered his head. "I'm sorry, Kaoru-dono..." he said, his voice filled with remorse. She released the breath she'd been holding in and frowned, a part of her wanting to knock him upside the head. Always so shy. Always! But she respectfully nodded and turned to go make breakfast, not saying another word to him.  
----

His swordsman spirit flew out, causing trees to burst and crack loudly, and when it was done it felt like a load had been removed from his soul. He breathed slowly and opened his eyes. That was the most tension he'd ever had to release, but it had been building for a while. It had been nothing short of a miracle that he hadn't let his soul completely darken over through this.

In his mind he saw Kaoru's disappointed eyes when he'd stepped away from her, and he frowned. Something was still holding him back, though he still didn't know what. Perhaps he was scared? Not that there really was anything to be scared of. He'd faced things more terrifying than what most faced in their entire lifetime. And it wasn't as though he hadn't had strong feelings for anyone before. Tomoe flashed through his mind and he closed his eyes, the pain from that never fully leaving him, though now he was able to smile a little more when he thought of her.

Kaoru was different though. He couldn't explain it, but she was different. He'd know she was special from the moment they'd met, and now that he'd come to know her so well, suddenly special was not a good enough word. Not to describe her.

He smiled to himself as he realized what he had to do then, and he hurried off into the village, hoping the shop he needed now was still open.  
----

Kenshin was out all day and Kaoru began to worry. She thought for a while of looking for him, but a part of her felt that he'd left to avoid her after their close encounter, so she went about eating lunch and dinner alone. A part of her regretted thinking that she'd be able to avoid loneliness with him.

It wasn't until later in the evening while she was washing the dishes that he came walking in, and she turned to him, resisting the urge to slug him for making her worry. He gave her a loving smile and she raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Sorry to have been out so late, Kaoru-dono," he said softly.

"You're a grown man, Kenshin. You don't have to apologize to me for being out late," she said, a hint of coldness in her voice. He ignored it, and helped her finish the dishes.

"Kaoru-dono, would you join me outside?" he asked when they finished. She looked at him curiously and he was still wearing that loving smile. "The fireflies are out again and they look beautiful." She wasn't able to hold her grudge and nodded with a smile.

They stepped outside and he lead her to a grassy hill where they sat down together. Just as he'd said, the fireflies were out and hovering around them. One landed on Kaoru's outstretched finger and she held it for Kenshin to see. He smiled at it and slipped his arm behind her, scooting so he was right next to her. A chill ran down her spine, though she surpressed the urge to get her hopes up again.

"Kaoru-dono..." he said softly and she looked at him, the firefly on her finger flying off and landing itself on his nose. Kaoru could hold back laughter and he looked down at it in surprise. "Oro!" Still giggling, she gently reached up and picked it off, setting it free in the grass.

"Yes, Kenshin?" she asked, still laughing. He smiled with amusement and looked down at the ground nervously. "What is it?" she asked.

"I'm just... I'm trying to find the right words, that I am." Kaoru smiled at him and tucked a stray lock of his fiery red hair behind his ear without really thinking about it. His violet eyes pierced hers and she nearly looked away, but his gaze locked her in. "Kaoru-dono... I... I'm in love with you, that I am."

"Oh Kenshin!" she cried and he placed a hand under her chin, drawing her face closer. Kaoru, knowing she didn't want to let him get away again, hastily closed the gap with a kiss. He stiffened slightly in surprise at her quick actions, but was smiling inside, his eyes closing as he inhaled her scent. He parted her lips to kiss her fully, dropping all barriers and as last he found in her arms what he'd been looking for from the day he became a wanderer.

Kaoru pulled away finally and Kenshin burried his face in her neck as she craned her arm around so she could run her fingers through his hair. Both his arms wrapped around her and he pulled her into his lap, holding her close as he leaned in from behind and kissed her cheek. They sat there like that for a while until weariness got the better of both of them and he scooped her up, carrying her back inside the dojo. She was already asleep when he lowered her onto her futon and he pulled a blanket over her, kissing her cheek on last time before preparing to go to bed himself.  
----

Kaoru was dreamy-eyed the moment she woke up, all her thoughts revolving around Kenshin. She slowly got up and went about getting dressed for the day, wondering if he was still asleep or not. When she went to the mirror to brush her hair, she spotted him crossing the dojo behind her with a pile of laundry. "More laundry?" she asked in surprise.

"It never ends I'm afraid," he said with a smile and headed out. Smiling to herself she went back to focusing on her hair. A glint in the mirror caught her attention and she jerked her left hand back down, looking down at her ring finger. A diamond ring sparkled on it and she gasped, spinning around and running after Kenshin. When she stepped outside he stood up from the washtub and turned to her with a smile.

"If this is another trick..." she said, pointing to the ring while remembering what had happened last time.

"No tricks, Kaoru-dono," he said reassuringly.

"Then you really...?" He nodded. "And this is a...?" Again he nodded. She stood speechless and he laughed.

"Well, aren't you going to give me an answer?" he asked her.

"Yes!" she cried running up to him and throwing her arms around him. "Yes, I will!" He smiled and she drew her head back enough so she could kiss him and he picked her up, spinning her around.

"As long as I have you..." he said when they finally broke their kiss. "I'll never need to wander again, that I won't." She smiled, tears flooding her eyes as she realized her nightmares would soon stop now and she burried her face in his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Thank you," she whispered through tears. "Thank you, Kenshin"  
----

(A/N: That's all folks. Tell me how I did. R&R!)


End file.
